豬肉攤上的教育家(My mother My techer) 

 

 

放眼美國(Eye on America)

 

 

 

Time of Questions

 

Even though I have been here (i.e. Los Angeles) more than half a year, I continue to ask myself why I came. During the past few months, I have given up almost all personal pleasure to bury myself in an endless stream of academic work.  In addition to this,  I have also had to endure loneliness What for? Just because I had the honor of receiving a scholarship? For a better future? Or just to go on an adventure? I'm still searching for the answer.

 

As a newlywed, I left my husband,  family,  and a good job to come to a totally unfamiliar environment. I feel like E. T. when he came to the earth. I was lost in this country, had no confidence,  and very few friends.

 

Yes,  my study in the U. S. has been full of confusion and trials.  Although my English is not poor,  I am more familiar with standard pronunciation and formal usage and the frequent use of slang and abbreviations confuse me totally.  I feel like a fool

whenever people have to say " Pardon me? " again and again,  or when I misunderstand someone's simple statement. Additionally, I am frustrated that I cannot express myself the way I was able to in Taiwan.  (I am an amateur writer and an eloquent speaker in Chinese. )

 

In the first few months after my arrival, I did not dare go out by myself because I often got los.  People repeatedly told me, “This is a very dangerous city Don't stay out late.” Due to the language barrier and the unfamiliar environment I felt insecure homesick and miserable

 

 

The First Contact

 

For the first time in my life I received a ticket from a policeman One afternoon during my first week here I followed other pedestrians who were crossing the street despite the Don't Walk signal light Unexpectedly a policeman stopped me and asked, “Can you read English? I replied, “Yes.” “Don't you see that signal? he asked. “But I just followed the others,” I tried to explain. “That's no excuse Give me your I D.,” he demanded. “I just arrived here I left my passport at a

friend's house,” I said At that moment I was too nervous and scared to recall anything Finally I remembered something I told him I was going to study at UCLA next month. “Hmmmm a

very good university,” he said Then he asked me what my name was and what department I was going to study in and told me, “You'll receive a ticket very soon bye.” But…” I murmured

 

On another weekend I visited my host family That night I was very confused by the faucet in the bath tub No matter how hard I tried to get warm water only cold water came out Since I was already in the tub it was too late for me to ask for help

This had never happened to me before I could not do anything except take a cold shower The next day I had a stuffy nose and asked the hostess for help She showed me how to do it and I laughed All this proved to me what I had a great deal to learn in order to adapt to new circumstances

 

On day my landlady tried to make fun of me by jumping out of her room suddenly and saying Boo! to me But my calmness surprised her so she tried it again I was confused, “What do you mean by this? Finally she realized I did not know this expression

and explained it to me I burst into laughter and told her that in Chinese we used hwa instead of boo.” We both laughed and from that moment it became a personal joke between us I have learned that there is a great gap not only in language but also in

culture between Americans and Chinese It is not learned information it is not even information it is justexistence as another foreign student has said Yes there are a lot of things to learn!

 

The library is one of my favorite places on campus However I also had an experience in the library which proved my innocence One afternoon after checking out some books and as I walked through the exit the bell rang I was stunned by the noise In a few seconds the librarian approached me took the books from me and left me embarrassed in front of everyone I remember wishing there was a hole in the ground I could jump into! After examining the books the man returned them to me saying the detector had malfunctioned I felt humiliated After picking up my books I ran away with tears in my eyes

 

Unlike Americans people in my country are used to buying goods with cash Until I came to America I had never used a check I recall the first time my friend took me to a bank to open an account After I filled out the application forms and showed the

teller my passport I was told that I could not open an account without a social security number. “What? A social security number? But I am not a citizen why do I need that? I

exclaimed. “I am sorry It is our policy,” she replied What a strange place! Just to deposit my own money in a savings account I needed a social security number as proof of identification

 

Eye on America

 

When I was in Taiwan people always talked about how prosperous and advanced America was In the Chinese language the term used for America means a beautiful country.” Yes it is a modern and beautiful place However after having been here for a while I discovered that like any other country on this earth America is not a paradise after all I found truth in a Chinese proverb describing America as a fairyland for children a battlefield for adults and a graveyard for the

 old

 

A Fairyland for Children

 

Several years ago when I saw the movie ET.,” I was surprised to see that little outerspace creature hidden among piles of toys in an American boy's room But then I decided that it was just a movie It was not until I visited a friend here that I decided

that it was not just a movie——it was a depiction of a typical American child's room When I played with my friend's children we were surrounded by dinosaurs transformers remote control cars and so on Playing with them reminded me of my childhood but I had never had so many toys I wished I were a child again

 

Yes America is a fairyland for kids Unlike their Chinese and Japanese counterparts American kids are not under severe pressure exerted by their schools or families Children are educated individually according to their talentsBeing unique

creative and independent are very important qualities With proper guidance children can develop themselves accordingly Academic achievement is not emphasized as vigorously in the U S American kids are always

energetic happy active and even buzzing with enthusiasm.” While their oriental counterparts are busy with their homework or perhaps being helped in extra hours by their tutors the American

kids are busy planning for their holidays and toursHowever as the number of broken families increases single parenting produces

 many problems Teenage troubles become social issues Drugs violence and pregnancy like epidemic diseases threaten every teenager The teenage years are

a critical period in this fairyland

 

A Battlefield for Adults

 

Practical aggressive independent and confident are my impressions of the main characteristics of American people In order to survive in a highly competitive society Americans operate at full throttle and strive to be the best Productivity and

efficiency make Americans workaholics People are very serious at work but they

 

also know the importance of relaxation and rest On weekends one can see cars lined up on the highways as families are hurrying off to spend their holidays in the mountains or at the beach

 

In this developed country courtesy coupled with a sense of humor maintain social harmony Science and law make society orderly and impartial Capitalism drives people to pursue profits and individualism encourages people to be private and keep their

distance from each other To Americans there is an intense competition as they struggle for the life they desire In this society only the fittest will survive and only the strong will receive applause

 

A Graveyard for the Old

 

Brought up in a threegeneration family I have enjoyed wisdom and warmth from elderly people all my life After my arrival I lived with a retired American teacher who has been a widow twice She seems to be independent and full of common

sense but she is lonely To my surprise her two dear children (as she refers to them) seldom visit her. “They are not to blame,” she once said. “Besides the best way to maintain a good relationship with my children is not to disturb their family life.”

 

Although she appears to be busy she is lonely In order to escape the deep sorrow she feels for her dead husbands and her subsequent feelings of emptiness she occupies herself with bridge games parties shopping and so on Like thousands of other senior citizens in this country she lives all by herself without any financial and spiritual support from her family In my eyes she is materially well off but she has to face the reality of living without specific aims and making her life just another game she must play

 

Eye on Los Angeles

 

Los Angeles is a young city without tradition or culture and a capital for producing dreams for the future It is a place where the impossible has come true People come to LA from all over the world As a professor said during the school orientation, “Since there is no real host here you are not guests at all.” Walking in the street you find you are always surrounded by an international scene You are never the only alien You can hear all sorts of languages spoken everywhere English bridges the gap between

strangers but speaking your native language can ease the loneliness of the homesick

 

Los Angeles is a city of the rich and the poor The obvious and tremendous distance between these two is very significant When the arrogant businessmen are giving a party located in Beverly Hills or Hollywood guests wearing luxurious min

k coats and flashy jewelry toast with champagne and discuss their vacations or the stock market On the other side of the city the homeless people are lying on the beaches shivering in the cold wind What a contrast!

 

Los Angeles is also a place where the good and the evil are coupled In the California sunshine people look healthy and happy They are polite amiable and willing to help Bus drivers greet their customers with smiles and patience Once

 in a while they sing songs and decorate their bus with red and white trimmings for Christmas

 (One big blue bus was decorated red and surprised all the passengers) On the other hand LA can be hostile Its rising crime rate threatens security on the UCLA campus

Students need an escort to accompany them to the bus stop at night An innocent pedestrian was shot while walking in Westwood on the weekend Two friends of mine from UCBerkeley were robbed by gang members at 10 pm as they were entering a parking lot In Taipei I was not worried about walking on the street even after 11 pm., because there were always other pedestrians near by But this is not the case in Los Angeles after dark How different!

 

Time of Reflection

 

Reading assignment after assignment paper after paper I like an octopus whose tentacles reach into every corner have plunged into the battle In the past few months I struggled with adjustment and suffered the bitterness of being home

sick I was still questioning until one day I woke up and a voice inside spoke to me, “You must be brave and keep on going.” I often think of the Chinese proverb The sky will be blue again after the rain.”(雨過天晴) I know this feeling of insecurity will be overcome through perseverance I just need to keep trying From that day on I wiped the tears away and then continued throughout the trial I have gone from being puzzled to aware from being weary to confident Finally I see some improvement

 

Through these adventurous encounters and by comparing the different cultural identities I began to realize things about myself This process reminds me of empathetic understanding.” In order to understand a new culture I must not be a critic Although I

am still not accustomed to this practical culture and the materialistic trend on campus the persistent devotion of many professors to the academic work has inspired me very much Besides the American smile is a good present worth

remembering Yes why not keep on going?

 

〔本文為1988UCLA外籍學生顧問中心(OISS)年度徵文入選作品〕

 

 

 

我是誰(Who am I?

 

Throughout my life I have been concerned about the effects of education on the improvement of human rights Thus I am devoted to the ideal of how education can contribute to the following: 1)the peaceful relations between Taiwan and Mainland China; 2)the

prevention of teenage problems; and 3)the improvement of women's status I have used my pen and my mind to pursue the preceding ideals

 

I Was A Tomboy

 

Growing up on a small farm in northern Taiwan I was taught not to eat any beef

 The Chinese philosophy behind this was that cows plow the field and provide us with food Since cows work for us like our loyal friends we should not eat their meat This

teaching continues to remind me to be a person of appreciation In other reason I hate turkey because they always chased me when I was a little girl!

 

Brought up in an extended family of twentyfive people including twelve children I went through the bright and dark sides of my family As a little child I was never worried about not having companions However the whole environment was the traditional

Chinese value system and males dominated every decisionmaking process Women in my family were considered inferior and subordinate to men I was affected by this traditional idea and acted like a tomboy more aggressive and determined than my brothers In fact sometimes my parents wished I were a boy

 

Poverty Coupled With Fear of China's Invasion

 

Born in the late fifties I still remember how poor the country was before the 1970's: short of food clothes and medicine Since we were so poor education was the only way out of poverty and the only path for upward mobility Even at a young age I realized the importance of education In addition to our poverty people in Taiwan were afraid of China's invasion For example two months before I was born ie., August 1958 China attempted to attack Taiwan by military force Although Taiwan succeeded in defending itself the whole island came to realize the continuing military threat from this big brother.” Tensions between Taiwan and China inspired my interests regarding China affairs My first book entitleHigher Education Reform in Mainland China: 197784 (1988) was the manifestation of this interest and concern

 

Thank You Mother

 

At age ten my family went through a family crisis In order to raise five children and pay off creditors my mother a housewife with little education worked tirelessly as a vendor selling pork in an open market for more than thirty years After work she

tutored her children and encouraged them to achieve -her daughters as well as her sons!

 

This experience had a profound impact on me and really crystalized my understanding of the strength and potential of women Before this I had always believed in the traditional Asian value system which claims that women are secondary to men The example my

mother set for us proved otherwise I have never forgotten this lesson which served as the basis for my dedication to women's equal opportunity

 

I Can Effect Change

 

At age sixteen another incident -the rape and murder of a fellow student from my girls' high school -changed my life Struck and outraged by this incident I organized a group of students at school raising funds for murdererhunting The crime was solved and the murderer was executed The lesson here that I learned is through my efforts I can effect change I carried this newfound energy to the university two years later not content to quietly sit back and let men do all leadership

I first organized a group of colleagues to provide tutoring and services to children with working mothers in the neighborhood I also chaired the Student Society of the Department of Education at the university for a year At age nineteen I started

volunteering as a juvenile delinquent counselor at Taipei City Court a governmental legal institute

 

For the next three years I paid weekly visits to my clients the dropouts and drug abusers in jail and at home and helped them through the reformatory process I also coordinated volunteer colleagues from the Department of Education building networks

with delinquents' families and schools and designing followup programs In 1981 I was named the outstanding juvenile counselor of the year

 

Hello This is Teacher Chang Speaking

 

Because of my concern and caring about teenage delinquents I later worked as a fulltime counselor at Teacher Chang Center a nonprofit nationwide guidance counseling center under the China Youth Corps This time I went through more professional counseling training and then helped teenagers via telephone mail and interview

 

This work experience soon broadened my vision about Taiwan's social problems enabling me to reach out to some previously ignored groups For example when I saw many female factory workers who were fresh from small towns and poorly educated struggling

with their employers and had no hope for tomorrow I knew it was time to help

 

 

As a result I organized over a hundred volunteers to design counseling programs for female factory workers in industry A few months later some female workers who went through these counseling programs wrote and thanked us. “For the first time people recognize me and I feel more comfortable being myself...,” a female factory worker wrote in her letter I knew that I had done something rewarding

 

Yes Miss Chairperson

 

While I was twentytwo to twentyfive I worked on my master's degree in education During this time I was elected to chair a campuswide graduate congress That was the first time a woman was ever elected to that position at my university During this

period I also went to Japan on a SinoJapanese exchange program sponsored by the Ministry of Education in Taiwan and Japan Asian Airline

 

From this trip I overcame my mixed feelings about Japan's invasion during World War II and started to ask why behind the Japanese success story women still continue to play a subordinate role in the society? Since then I devoted myself to writing articles Through doing this I developed my interest in pursuing women's rights via academic research

 

Coming to America

 

After graduating from my master's degree I realized that many goals could not be fulfilled unless I continued my intellectual pursuit In 1986 after succeeding in a highly competitive national exam I received a threeyear full scholarship from the

Ministry of Education in Taiwan Thus four years ago I arrived in the United States for the first time and started my adventure at UCLA As mentioned in my awarded article, “in the first few months I struggled with adjustment and suffered from being

homesick.” Like the Chinese proverb, “The sky will be blue again after the rain,” I made it through the storm

 

After living in America for almost four years I still have mixed feelings about this country One good thing I have seen is that women here are more independent outgoing and determined to effect change For example my former landlady at the age

of sixty five still volunteers in the community service comments on politics and goes jogging every day

 

This lady introduced me to American women culture and the advanced technology of America's modern kitchen She said theAmerican Dream,” -equal opportunity for everyone-attracts people from all over the world On the other hand the

 breakdown of the family system has resulted in many social problems and has contributed to the deterioration of American society Unlike its American counterpart Chinese culture is more solid and focuses on spiritual fulfillment and moral cultivation m

ore than material pursuit Having communicated with many women in this country I am convinced that both the Chinese and the Americans can learn a great deal from each other

 

After coming to America my world has been broadened my knowledge extended and my concern about education and human rights has become stronger Now I am better equipped to concentrate on research (my doctoral dissertation) which examinesgender equality in academe

 

The Four Main Streets in Taipei

 

Like many other international students who come to America to fulfill their life goals my goal is to serve my people especially women at home Unlike many Americans who take their citizenship for granted Chinese people (both in mainland

 and Taiwan) have strong feelings toward their countries

 

One example is the four main streets in Taipei: the names are translated as loyal to country and love for parents,” “kindness to mankind,” “trustworthy and righteous,” and peace and harmony.” (忠孝、仁愛、信義、和平)

 

The belief of showing great love for the country itself and also for its people is deeply rooted in my mind As a Chinese woman in Taiwan I want to help other women and-in so doing-help my country This is particularly important for Taiwan at this

moment Since Taiwan lifted martial law in 1987 people have more freedom to express their opinions and an opposition party has been established to counterbalance the ruling party Simultaneously the whole society is experiencing a rapid change

 

Above all the most important area that needs to be changed to facilitate future growth is the area of education Within education one of the most critical areas is women's equal recognition participation and contribution

 

My personal experience from a traditional maledominated family made me believe that the progress of education will improve women's rights in Taiwan This will also have a future impact on women's equality in China

 

The world is getting smaller and smaller day by day There is no more room for two Germanys or two Chinas or two sets of standards within the academic reward system

 

〔作者曾因本文而獲得1991年美國女大學教師學會(AAUW)國際和平獎學金〕

 

 

 

美國社會如何向中華文化取經

(What can American society learn from Chinese culture?)

 

The Beautiful Country

 

When I was in my country people always talked about how prosperous and advanced America was In the Chinese language the term used for America means a beautiful country.”…… Yes I do agree that it is a modern and beautiful place However after having been here for two years I have realized that like any other country on the earth America is not a paradise after all As a Chinese proverb says America is a fairyland for children a battlefield for adults and a graveyard for the old.”

 

A Fairyland for Children

 

America is a fairyland for children Children seem to be valued very highly in this country When compared to the oriental children of the same age American children are not under the severe pressure exerted by their schools or families American

children are educated individually according to theirtalents Uniqueness creativity and independence are very important qualities in the American society Academic achievement is not emphasized as vigorously in this fairyland Most children in America are energetic active and even buzzing with enthusiasm.” While their oriental counterparts are busy with their homework and extra hours tutoring after school the American children are busy planning for holidays and tours

 

A Battlefield for Adults

 

According to my observations American adults are practical aggressive independent and confident In order to survive in a highly competitive society Americans feel they have to operate to their maximum ability and strive to be the best”. Truly it is a society for the survival of the fittest and the strongest Productivity and efficiency in the marketplace create an impersonal atmosphere where many Americans become workaholics.” Because people are very serious at work they consequently need to learn know how to relax and enjoy life Many times they are unable to find relaxation because they are so involved with the practicalities of life

 

A Graveyard for the Old

 

After arriving in this country I lived with a retired American teacher who had been widowed twice This lady seemed to be independent and full of energy however she was very lonely To my surprise her two dear adult children (as she refers to them) seldom visited her even though they lived in the neighborhood. “They are not to blame,” she once said, “and besides the best way to maintain a good relationship with my children is not to disturb their family life and scare them away.” In order to escape the bereavement of her dead husbands and the subsequent feelings of emptiness she occupied her time with bridge games parties and shopping Like thousands of

 other senior citizens in this country she still lives all by herself without financial and spiritual support from her family In my opinion although she is materially well off she has to face a reality of living without her family and feelings of aimlessness

 

Being Senior Parents?

 

America should be a wonderful land for people of different ages However the lonely plight of the old compared to that of children and adults saddens me Many American family relationships begin to disintegrate as the children mature and the parents grow

older It seems to me that American families are unwilling to give priority in taking care of their elderly This attitude bothers me The following is a scenario of the types of relationships between adult children and their senior parents:

 

Story 1: An old American was thrown out of a house by his landlady-his own daughter-because he could not afford the rent for three months

 

 

Story 2: A Chinese couple sacrificed their savings to support their son's study in the United States for many years After their retirement the couple came to visit their son and their American daughterinlaw Three months later before the Chinese parents

went home they received a bill from the daughterinlaw asking them to pay the expenses of their visit The couple paid the bill and left with broken hearts

 

What kind of rationale stands behind these stories? Some American friends explained:

 

——because American people value independence;

 

——because American people demand their rights as individuals and dislike being disturbed by others;

 

——because American people regard living with their senior parents as a burden;

 

——because American people feel no responsibility in taking care of their aged parents;

 

——and because American people believe that the government will take care their retired parents by the Double S (Social Security)

 

In A Contrast

 

The above statements are realistic but very different from the way the Chinese perceive their parentchild relationships As Carol Gilligan indicates in her book, “In A Different Voice,” American people value their personal human rights first; that is their individuality freedom greater autonomy selfrealization and personal accomplishment are held very dear In contrast the Chinese value human relationships with people and emphasize responsibility to each other Therefore the American moral essence develops as a sense of respect for rights of others because it protects one's own rights to freedom and selffulfillment The Chinese respect others' needs as persons and share the society's various responsibilities as a group

 

The Chinese Family

 

The Chinese moral tradition has focused on family in which every man has the dual obligations to continuous his role as both the son and the father Chinese people regard family as a deep rooted tradition which has many enduring features

 

For example the family provides security and harmony between the old and the young Because of growing up in an extended family I have enjoyed the wisdom and the warmth from many elderly people during my life In our family we are always taught to pay respect to the elderly and to appreciate the sacrifice and the

hardships of our parents Filial piety the responsibility to take care of our parents when they become old is an expression of love toward them The love of our parents and the filial piety of the children continue to coexist all times

 

The parentchild relationship is the first and the basic ethic in the traditional morality of the Wulun (five relationships: father and son; elder brother and younger one; husband and wife; friends; ruler and subject) A Chinese proverb states, “One

cannot expect a person to be loyal to his country without having filial piety to his own parents first.” Showing respect and taking care of one's parents is the first step toward serving others Like Americans Chinese also value their children and regard the young as their future hope However Chinese show regard for and take care of their old people because these people have given their time and energy to the younger generations

 

Although the extended family system is being 're—'placed by the nuclear family system of today the spirit of the love and filial piety between parents and children in the family continues to influence the younger Chinese generation

 

Another Solution

 

When a young couple finds it difficult to look for someone reliable to babysit their children the grandparents may enjoy having grandchildren around When an elderly person needs someone to talk to and the young need some advice for life family provides the best shelter and support As an American friend said, “I love independence but I cannot avoid the great emptiness of being alone.” The Chinese culture of cherishing family ties between the old and the young can fill the gap of

 independence and loneliness in American society The essence of the Chinese family where the children and the parents bear love and responsibility for each other will have a positive influence if it were integrated into the American society We all know that American society has been threatened by problems such as the increase of single parenting teenage pregnancy drugs and even the emergence of homeless people which are the results of the breakdown of the family system Relying on the social security and government policies can neither cure nor prevent these problems It is about time for Americans to restrengthen family ties The ideals of Chinese culture which the American society lacks are the love and responsibility of and for parents This value will compensate for the imperfections in each individual and will bring in additional strength to back up at times of crisis In this manner the reputation of a graveyard

for the old will be brought to an end The children the adults and the old can share the American dream together

 

 

After being alone in the Unites States for a year my husband joined me and is now studying for his doctoral degree at UCLA While my dissertation continues to make progress my financial situation has become very constrained since the expiration of my scholarship from the Ministry of Education Without financial assistance it will be difficult at best to meet my goal of completing my doctoral programs by June 1992

 

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